I got... nothing.

I really don't have much to update right now... but here goes. I think I'll be sticking to the bullet format because really, its how I structure notes & write everything else down in my life. Its an easy read...

• Liz & Carmine came to hang out Friday night. The Country Club doesn't serve dinner on Friday nights (best job ever? I think yes!) so I got to spend lots of quality time with them. We drank a significant amount (Im down to drinking one night a week... who am I?) and then Carmine & I started watching the HBO series John Adams. We ended up watching all of it. Awesome.
• Yesterday I hung out with them until around dinner time, and then came back here to do work. But, a nice little migraine decided to kick in and I fell asleep around 10pm. Nice.
• Today I worked at the Country Club, came back here to clean and do work, and now I'm here.

My life has become so... boring.
Can someone from Jax pleeeeeaaaaaassssseeeee come visit me so we can just rage in NYC for an entire weekend? I'll get all of my work done ahead of time I promise hahaha.

Back to reading. I'm just so cool. Bye!

In a nutshell...

Just some bullet points of my ever-so exciting Thursday:

• Glee last night was fan-flippin-tastic!! I love love LOVE it. I will def make time in my every growing calendar to unwind and watch it each week.
• Crumbs (Bakery) called to offer me a job while I was sitting in class tonight. But- on the stipulation that I extend my availability- which I can't. Gotta call & refuse the offer tomorrow. Sucks.
• I like to keep my window open in my room but the smokers' tables are outside my window and smelling those cigarettes makes my life increasingly difficult. I also think its rude that when I've told people I've quit smoking, people have said "No one likes a quitter". RUDE.
  
• I have the sniffles and a scratchy throat. This better end. NOW.
• Hofstra rape victim is a liar. Talk of the campus today.
• I can tell I'm losing weight, but I have no idea how much because I don't have a scale here and can't afford to buy one.
• My calendar is so booked and I hate it. FL/GA weekend was a definite, but is now only a possibility because I have an exam the day I get back (Monday) and it would be a wise financial decision for me to just stay put & use the plane ticket for Fort Lauderdale after Thanksgiving with my family. But I just want to go- see all of my long lost Jax friends and drink my face off. Thats all I really want out of life at this moment. Is that so much to ask? Apparently.

What a crazy week & it's only Wednesday...

So much to write about this week. Where do I even start? How about since this little message just popped into my inbox... Hofstra.

This past weekend, a girl was supposedly tied up and gang raped by 5 guys in the dorm building next to mine on campus. I say supposedly due to the e-mail I have just received, but I'll get to that in a minute. Campus has been a nuthouse since this happened. News vans are everywhere, public safety has cracked down and is pretty much not allowing anyone to be in a building they're not authorized to be in at all, and NY State Troopers took over the entrance ramp on the northbound Meadowbrook Parkway trying to capture the 5th rapist that has escaped. Kylie was supposed to come visit me last night, but the campus was on such lockdown the line to get in was 30 mins long.

In addition to this, there has been an armed robbery on North campus, and 2 seperate ocurrences of women saying that men have groped them in the parking lot. Bottom line at this point: I am not leaving my building at night unless absolutely necessary. Period. I'm driving to class. I haven't worked my ass off to be going to school for my Master's to be sexually assaulted on the way to class.

Here's the interesting part. Hofstra sent out an e-mail literally 10 minutes ago stating that the rape victim has recanted her charges against the 5 guys. WHAT. WHAAAAAT. If this girl is lying- so help her. She has succeeded at making Hofstra have a terrible, horrific and violent reputation. It's my belief that the other attacks have happened because of this girl's story. HOWEVER- if she is recanting her statements due to the fact that she has been threatened or anything else of that nature- I fear for her. It's just insane. I know the feeling of campus as a whole right now is very anxious and fearful. I hope this is resolved soon.--- AS i just wrote that--- she lied about the rape. The entire thing. Wow. I hope that girl get some serious help.

On another note- the athletic director of my high school got fired for supplying 14-17 year olds with alcohol. Something he's been doing for at least 10 years. Nothing new. Everyone is up in arms saying that he's such a great guy and blah blah blah. Yea, Creece is cool. If you consider feeding alcohol to minors and invading on their school sleepovers cool. He was cool because he brought us booze when we couldn't. Looking back- it was wrong.

Other than all of that ranting... work is pretty good. I think I make the most there. I'm the only American. The rest are from eastern Europe and Ecuador-- which is fine. Its just like Plantation at PV all over again-- except this country club is predominantly Jewish like everywhere else on LI. I love them. Long Island Jews are one of a kind and I just want to be one. Maybe I'll start working on that.

School is school. More work. More assignments. I think the thing thats most frustrating about grad school is that we have to read and read and read and read--- never discuss it in class and then it pops up on the final exam. Neato.

Im tired. Gym at 8am tomorrow. Goodnight folks.

Ask me how I really feel...

I hate passive/aggressive bullshit. HATE it. Wanna know my thoughts on the matter? Well that's what you'll get by reading this blog.

If you have a fucking problem... say it. If you think something is awesome and beautiful and like nothing you've ever experienced before, express it. If someone has said something that just eats at you for the rest of day and keeps you up at night, address it. If everything goes your way, and someone does a kind gesture for you, thank them. If you're lonely, call people you love and tell them.

There is nothing wrong with expressing human emotion. If you're angry about something- be confident that you have a right to be angry! If someone says something that genuinely hurts your feelings- tell them or they may never know how much it has affected you.

I am so tired of things surfacing months later. I've especially noticed this since I've left Jacksonville, particularly on Facebook. I didn't know people were friends with me for so long for such shallow reasons, and once I have left the area it's almost like I am just simply not needed, which is fine. Really. That's how I feel. There are plenty of people in Jacksonville I have associated with that honestly, I don't see myself speaking to ever again. BUT... I'm so tired of walking on eggshells because I myself don't want to bring up words or things others have done that hurt my own feelings. But, at 23, if I personally don't take these steps I don't see myself having much room to grow from criticism.

So I challenge you. If I piss you off, tell me. If I made your day, call me and let me know. & I promise to do the same. & even if you happen to randomly cross my mind, I'll let you know I've been thinking of you.

Sometimes such simple words can change the outlook of another person's day. You'll never know the impact you can have until you start speaking your mind.

Cause when the roof caved in & the truth came out I just didn't know what to do

I need a job. Plain and simple. I know I must talk about this a lot. But things are getting drastic. The food that I have now is all I've got. I have $11 in my bank account, a half tank of gas in my car and mountains of schoolwork to finish. And everyone always says "Just call your dad. Ask your dad." So let me explain my reasoning of NOT calling my father at 23 years old and begging for money...

I think its pretty much common knowledge that my dad did not want me to go to grad school. According to his life plan for me, I would have finished JU in May, and he would have found me a job at his company. And I would have been set for life. But, since I've decided that I would like to work in health care and create my own life goals and attend grad school- my world has been turned upside down.

In May I was supposed to become financially independent. Paying my own car insurance, gas and cell phone bill- completely severing the tie. But I couldn't find a job over the summer. So my dad graciously put off my payments to him until September (when I got my refund check). It's now September. I just made a $800.00 payment. I still owe another $1000.00. And I'm sure if my parents knew just how bad it is right now they would send me money in a heartbeat- so this isn't a bashing session on them. Really, I hate owing them money- but I dont want to ask for more because it will keep this tab going. Understand?

I also foolishly spent a good chunk of my refund check on a purse. Which was completely stupid, irresponsible and I think my grumbling tummy reminds me every second never to make that mistake again.

So when I bitch about needing a job- I'm not kidding. This post isn't bashing my parents or me giving off the impression they would let their daughter suffer. I can't ask for the money. I dug myself in this hole, and I need to get myself out. On my own. I can do it. I know it. This is my problem, and my responsibility. I can do this.

Meet the Mets...

Happy Saturday morning! I woke up today with a nice riveting headache, but alas... it was worth it. Last night I went to a Mets game with Kylie and it was so much fun!! It was at CitiField- their brand new ballpark and it was gorgeous. Our seats were amazing... right on the first base line and probably 20 rows up. We had club seats so we had our own bar and ate some seriously delish food.

Kylie's mom went into Jerry Seinfeld's bar next to ours in the beginning of the game and saw these homemade brownies. Of course, after the game started she couldn't get back in to get them. So me & Kylie devised a drunken plan and got in and saved the day hahaha. It was so much fun. I'd be so lost w/o the Farrells in my life right now!

Class started Thursday. Kill me now. I'm already drowning in work. I shouldn't even be writing this right now. I should be reading. Oh well. I hope that I have time for some kind of life this semester, but the way it's going so far I seriously doubt it. And it's only going to get worse from here on out. Next semester I'm taking 15 credits. Undergrad, 15 is nothing. Grad... goodbye world.

I've been working out and eating right on a daily basis. Except last night at the Mets. Just a splurge though, right? 6 days a week is my goal. I think I'm taking today off at least until I get my work done. Ugh.