At night I pray that soon your face will fade away...

I know these posts are downers. I know they might be hard to read. I'm not apologizing. This is how I cope.

This past week I've just been feeling incredibly sad. I quit my job at the country club. At first, I felt so empowered. Now is the time to actually move on. I will never have to see him again. I was really ready to focus on getting my life back together.

But then I became so sad. I look for the best in people. I refuse to believe that he's this big of an asshole. I've seen the good in him. In my heart, I know he's hurting too. But, this was so much bigger than us. Considering what we were, we weren't prepared to handle this at all. A summer fling turned into a complete nightmare.

I'm going to therapy this week.




"Nothing seems to be the way that it used to. Everything seems shallow, God give me truth
& tell me somebody's watching over me. That is all I'm praying- Someday, I will understand God's whole plan & what he's done to me... "